What we cleaned up:
A pile of sawdust that absolutely should not have been that big.
We asked, “Who has been sawing without permission?”
Three Cubs pointed at each other.
One pointed at a leader.
One said, “It wasn’t me, I was just breathing near it.”
We also found a screw in someone’s sock.
No follow-up questions were asked.
Best excuse of the night:
“I wasn’t messing around… I was PREPARING MYSELF.”
Preparing himself for what?
Unclear.
Possibly battle.
Possibly DIY badge greatness.
Possibly just a dramatic personality.
Either way I respect the confidence.
Best moment:
A Cub looking at our freshly unpacked toolkit whispered:
“I WAS BORN FOR THIS JESUS WAS A CARPENTER.”
And honestly?
Based on the way he attacked those nails… possibly yes.
Custard the Rat: Official Member of the Pack
Custard arrived wearing the same expression he always has:
“Chaos is beneath me, but I tolerate it.”
The Cubs adore him.
One Cub said, “Custard is my emotional support wodent.”
Custard has seen things.
Custard knows things.
Custard judges us silently from his cage.
A leader gently reminded everyone:
“No, Custard cannot sleep in your hood. No, he cannot help you drill. No, he cannot come to camp unless we risk-assess him as livestock.” UPDATE: Custard came to camp….
Tonight’s Main Event: Starting the DIY Badge
Two-week mission.
Maximum chaos.
Unlimited potential for property damage.
We told them:
“We are building bird houses!”
They heard:
“We are doing dangerous wood stuff and should be VERY EXCITED.”
The Bird House Plan:
- minimal sawing
- a little drilling
- LOTS of nails
- even more screws
- zero tolerance for whacking your neighbour’s fingers
Each Cub got a kit.
Each kit had instructions.
No Cub read the instructions.
Naturally.
We were all hands on deck for this one. Cubs separated into teams that will become sixes and a leader and a parent on each team.
Highlights From the Woodworking Warzone
- One Cub hammered a nail so enthusiastically it folded into a perfect right angle. Physics we cannot explain.
- Another proudly announced, “MY BIRDHOUSE IS ONE OF THEM MODERN ART!” after assembling it upside down. They’ve been learning about modern at school.
- A leader tried to show them how to drill slowly. The Cubs took this as a challenge and competed to see whose drill made the loudest noise. There is now a hole in the floor.
- One Cub asked if we could build “a house for a fox instead.”
(We cannot.) - Tommy carefully lined up every screw in size order… and then forgot why. Kush spoke with mum and Tommy is waiting for an ADHD appointment. Expected waiting time is four years. We will discuss this later.
- Someone attempted to negotiate a tradesman day rate:
“I’ll build yours for 50p.”
Entrepreneurial spirit lives strong here.
And yet — miraculously —
bird houses emerged. Real ones. Actual structures.
Some lopsided.
Some slightly threatening.
Some genuinely impressive.
We will take all forms of victory.
Next Week: Painting Carnage
We told them next week we’ll paint the bird houses.
The reactions:
- “CAN MINE BE GOLD?”
- “I want mine to look like Fortnite.”
- “Can I paint Custard?”
- “Can I paint my face?”
- “Can I paint your face?”
Leaders are currently updating the risk assessment and making peace with the coming storm.
Where These Bird Houses Will Go
The Cubs are BUZZING about this bit:
We’re putting them up around the estate.
This means:
- the kids get to SEE their work every day
- the community gets something positive in the landscape
- local birds get new property (subject to planning permission from Mrs Jenkins who complains about everything)
- the Cubs get pride in improving their own environment
One Cub said, “I hope the birds think it’s nice..”
Sweet.
The Real Heart Beneath the Hammering
Seven weeks in, and these estate kids are:
- learning real skills
- making things they didn’t know they could make
- working together (ish)
- taking responsibility for tools
- showing pride in their work
- building confidence faster than we can keep up
For kids who don’t always get to shine at school…
who deal with chaos at home…
who get underestimated far too often…
This stuff MATTERS.
They aren’t just building bird houses.
They’re building identity.
Ownership.
Belief.
Community.
And honestly?
It’s beautiful in a noisy, splinter-filled, semi-dangerous sort of way.
Week Seven:
Birdhouses built.
Custard admired.
Leaders exhausted.
Estate improved, one wobbly nail at a time.
Bring on Week Eight and bring extra paint.
So.. about ADHD and waiting lists. Next blog..
Council Estate Cub Pack 
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